The Vocabulary of Leaving

There are words for this in other languages. Portuguese has *saudade*—the longing for something you've lost or maybe never had. German offers *Torschlusspanik*—the panic of doors closing, of time running out. English gives us "goodbye," which started as "God be with ye" and got worn down by centuries of hasty departures into something you can mutter over your shoulder on the way out. He stands at the airport gate, watching her walk toward security. She turns once, waves with just her fingers, the way she waves when she doesn't want to make it a thing. He waves back the same way. They've both gotten good at small gestures. There should be a word for the moment after—when the person has vanished into the crowd, and you're still standing there, holding space for someone who's already gone. The Germans probably have one. He doesn't move. The departure board updates. Her flight changes from "Boarding" to "Departed." Now there's a word for it: *too late*.